July 4 - Dependance Day

God has been working on some things in me lately. I'm an independent person, I tend to do my own thing when I feel like doing it and I hate asking for help. Going to movies or a nice dinner are about the only things that I won't do by myself. Yet God is teaching me that always doing things on my own is not necessarily a good thing. While doing my own thing offers a lot of freedom, it puts me in a dangerous place and it robs me of the joy of sharing life with others. It also allows me to avoid being challenged and I'm not able to help others who need someone to help them through the tough stuff.

Here's my kayaking analogy (I may eventually put this in a book, I'm collecting thoughts). Going down river by myself means I don't have to worry about anyone else. I'm on my schedule and I can do exactly what I want to do. I don't have to care about anyone else, it's all about me. But if I end up in a dangerous situation, I'm on my own. There is no one there who can throw me a rope or bring my boat to shore. If I hit my head on a rock and get knocked out, I'm done. I've also found that the glory stories aren't quite as glorious if there's no one there to share it with. If I'm on my own, I could tell any story I wanted to and people may believe it, but have no reason to get excited about it. But if my buddies are there, we can celebrate that together for ages. When I rafted the Gauley, we had a swim at Sweet's Falls. Those of us who went through that still talk about it in excited tones, we shared the experience and shared something unique. People who weren't there don't understand. I have also found that when I'm on my own, I don't need to push myself. I can take the easy lines and avoid doing the stuff that I don't want to do. I need people by my side to push me to grow and make me better. I also need to come along side those who are also trying to learn. As a kayaker I don't always feel like I have much to offer. A lot of times I feel like I'm doing good to keep myself upright in the water. But I also have to remember that I can encourage other people who are new and I can make sure they aren't alone. I know that I appreciate the people who have taken the time to come along side me for encouragement and support, I need to return the favor.

I'm slowly learning that being independent may not be as great of a thing as I think it is. I need to learn how to share what is going on with me and allow people to help me. I need to swallow my pride and think of others. I need to realize that there are people who have a lot to offer me, and I have a lot to offer them. That we can share the joys of the journey together and that will be greater than what each of us seeks on our own.