Life on the other side of the fence

Disclaimer: I'm kinda tired as I write this, so it may not represent my fullest and clearest thoughts.

I had a realization tonight that kind of pained me. For the first time in my life I have a girlfriend. It has been a really cool thing, God has been teaching me some cool things and I have experienced some wonderful new parts of life. It is a joy to get to know such an amazing person in that way, I am truly blessed. However, tonight I feel like God has called me to remember some things from the past that I need to hold onto.

As a single person I remember a lot of times feeling like I was a bit of a "leper" because I wasn't in a relationship. The people who were married or in relationships had the things they did because they had someone, and the single people were left to their own. I could pretty much count on someone disappearing as soon as they got in a relationship and once they were married, I pretty much lost hope of ever getting to spend time with them again. There have been exceptions to the rule, and I have been so very grateful for those people. Last Valentine's Day when we (Wing and I) hosted a meal for people in our house churches who didn't have other plans (ie: single people), we had a couple of married couples come. This blessed me so much, that they chose to spend an evening that is very couple oriented with people who so often feel like outcasts. I know one married couple that I have seen at social outings frequently and I've always thought that was wonderful. Another couple I have spent time with did a wonderful job of making me feel welcome spending time with them, even though I could have very much felt like a third wheel. I really believe that many single people feel very excluded and left out, simply because the couples tend to separate from the single people, and those couples who are intentional about spending time with everyone, including the single people, bring a special gift in affirming that singleness is not a lesser state of being, but one which brings a different set of opportunities and challenges.

Now that I'm in a relationship, I'm seeing things from a different angle. And tonight my heart is pierced because I don't know what my single friends are up to. I value the time I spend with my girlfriend and that is very important. I also value the time I spend with other couples, that is also very valuable. But I am reminded of the value of spending time with my single friends. I remember the pain of feeling left out because I was single. I remember how much it has meant when couples were intentional about spending time with the single people. I remember thinking that when I was in a relationship I wanted to be someone who made sure that my single friends were valued and treasured.

So I guess tonight I am reminded that as my relationship continues to grow I need to treasure all my friends equally and that I am going to have to be more intentional in my relationships with some.