Letting go or giving up?

I've been wrestling with a decision lately. I used to really love music, especially electric guitar, and I wanted to play. I got really into it, buying the gear and trying to learn. I probably spent more time listening, reading, dreaming, and buying gear than I actually did practicing. OK, I know I did. But it was something that was really important to me. Towards the end of this period I owned an acoustic guitar, a stratocaster, and a telecaster. Then after a while this interest faded and suddenly it was months since I had even picked up any of my guitars. Then I took up an interest in kayaking and the outdoors, and I chose to sell my stratocaster to buy my kayak. I told myself that I would always hold onto the telecaster and the acoustic because I would probably be back to them and they are great instruments that I really like and would be hard to replace.

Lately I've been looking at selling off more of my gear and I'm considering selling my telecaster. This is something I've been wrestling with, because I don't know if it would mean letting go of an unrealistic dream or giving up on something because I think I'll fail. I'm really not sure. Given my past dedication to playing guitar and my current desire to play, I don't really feel like I will really ever pick it up again. I have a lot of other interests that are important to me and maybe this is one dream that I just need to let go of. When I first started it was important, but as time went on I figured out that I just wasn't that into it. So maybe it's best to let go because I can put that money towards another interest and I don't have it sitting around home collecting dust. At the same time, I know music is something that is important in my life. Right now it's a little lower on the priority list, but it's something that has always come and gone in my life. However, there is a fear in me that I'll never be any good and it's just wasting my time and energy when I could be putting it towards something I have a better chance at succeeding at. But I don't want to give up on something because of fear. I don't want to live my life giving up on hard stuff and taking the easy way out, because usually the hard way is the one God calls us to. Fear is a tactic of Satan to keep us from the things that God has for us. I don't want to have something beautiful like music and my tele to be stolen from me by fear. I know that I could always go buy another guitar sometime if I want to do it again, but part of me feels like it would be giving up and I really like this guitar. I would be hard to replace.

If I choose to keep it, I don't see myself playing anytime soon. It's just not important in my life right now. I have a wonderful girlfriend, my interest in kayaking, and other outdoors stuff that are taking my time an energy. And I need to be giving more to other important relationships in my life. But maybe some day I'll return to it. Or maybe not.

I guess I'm seeking discernment as to whether walking away from this would be letting go of something that isn't meant to be, or if it would be giving up on something that may be out of season right now but important in my life in the future.

Have you ever noticed.....

Have you ever noticed that in all the quiz things that go around, have many of them ask questions that are used for security questions to access your bank account and other sensitive information? Something to think about......

Stupid retirement account seems to think I don't know the answer to my own security question though.....

Planet Earth - The End

I finished off the "Planet Earth" DVD's tonight. If you haven't seen this series, it is a MUST watch. Some of the most incredible scenery ever, so beautiful. I have to admit that I waited a while to watch the last 3 episodes, because I knew what was coming. They were all about how humans are impacting the world, and it didn't bring many warm fuzzies.

It is depressing to see what we have done to this world. God created this world and called it good. Then He gave us the job of caring for it, and we've screwed it up pretty bad. Just in the city of Indianapolis things are pretty crappy. We can't see the stars because of all the light pollution (this summer in Kentucky and Utah I finally saw the Milky Way for the first time). If we get very much rain in a small period of time, millions of gallons of raw sewage gets dumped in the White River. Every new subdivision is marked by a complete lack of trees. Walk along a street or highway and look at the trash that lines it. There's no where in the city that you can go for true peace and quiet (if you think it's here, you don't know what it is). But even when I go out into the wilderness I find how we have managed to screw things up. Red River Gorge is rather overused. As much as I love it, there's a lot of trash and you can see where humans have trampled over a lot of things. Carving their names in the rocks and trees. In Glacier we found trash along the trail, though not as much as we expected (which is sad that we expected any). In Utah in a canyon, mile and miles from any kind of terrain that a vehicle could make it through, we found large truck tires. It was ridiculous. Don't even get me started on Las Vegas, that is the antithesis of everything I find to be good in life.

But moving beyond the environment, look at what we are doing to people. When 6,000 people a day die in Africa due to simple things like clean drinking water or diseases that we treat with simple over-the-counter medicine from CVS. Or people in Indianapolis who struggle to make it by each day, without basic things that most of us take for granted. Let's face it, the human race has don't a pretty crappy job of taking care of the things God told us to take care of.

But I have to stop and look at what I'm doing to help make things better. Ouch. There's a few things I've done. I'm a member of American Whitewater, and I support missionaries to Africa who are helping with AIDS education and taking care of orphans. I've been making an effort to reuse grocery bags and recycle things. I've been involved in some inner city work. But to be honest with myself, I've been pretty lazy about everything. I'm a part of the problem, not a part of the solution. I've been really challenged to consider what I'm doing to make this world a better place, even if it's just a small piece. I'm not sure what all that involves, but I'll work on it. One interesting thought that occurred to me. If I'm looking at moving to Oregon, in making a job change am I willing to pass on a job opportunity simple because I object to what the job is supporting? I found a job posting for a company that does work with logging, with I really have a problem with (I've seen clear cut forests, it's horrible).

I'm just thinking, I don't have any answers to any of this. But I thought it was really interesting that as Planet Earth explored the issues of conservation that they presented a well balanced view of a lot of things. They presented the idea that hunting is part of conservation of endangered species. They presented the idea that an African family is not going to choose to save a tree at the cost of not feeding their child. That people have to be considered as well as the environment, though taking care of the environment is vital to taking care of the people. They presented the idea that those who believe that God created this world have a responsibility to care for it.

I look forward to the day when God wipes out everything we've done to screw this world up and makes everything new. I'm excited to see what this world looks like as God intended it to be. Until then, I'd like to enjoy what we have now because that's pretty cool too. I think it's worth caring for, the planet and the people.