I've been wrestling with a decision lately. I used to really love music, especially electric guitar, and I wanted to play. I got really into it, buying the gear and trying to learn. I probably spent more time listening, reading, dreaming, and buying gear than I actually did practicing. OK, I know I did. But it was something that was really important to me. Towards the end of this period I owned an acoustic guitar, a stratocaster, and a telecaster. Then after a while this interest faded and suddenly it was months since I had even picked up any of my guitars. Then I took up an interest in kayaking and the outdoors, and I chose to sell my stratocaster to buy my kayak. I told myself that I would always hold onto the telecaster and the acoustic because I would probably be back to them and they are great instruments that I really like and would be hard to replace.
Lately I've been looking at selling off more of my gear and I'm considering selling my telecaster. This is something I've been wrestling with, because I don't know if it would mean letting go of an unrealistic dream or giving up on something because I think I'll fail. I'm really not sure. Given my past dedication to playing guitar and my current desire to play, I don't really feel like I will really ever pick it up again. I have a lot of other interests that are important to me and maybe this is one dream that I just need to let go of. When I first started it was important, but as time went on I figured out that I just wasn't that into it. So maybe it's best to let go because I can put that money towards another interest and I don't have it sitting around home collecting dust. At the same time, I know music is something that is important in my life. Right now it's a little lower on the priority list, but it's something that has always come and gone in my life. However, there is a fear in me that I'll never be any good and it's just wasting my time and energy when I could be putting it towards something I have a better chance at succeeding at. But I don't want to give up on something because of fear. I don't want to live my life giving up on hard stuff and taking the easy way out, because usually the hard way is the one God calls us to. Fear is a tactic of Satan to keep us from the things that God has for us. I don't want to have something beautiful like music and my tele to be stolen from me by fear. I know that I could always go buy another guitar sometime if I want to do it again, but part of me feels like it would be giving up and I really like this guitar. I would be hard to replace.
If I choose to keep it, I don't see myself playing anytime soon. It's just not important in my life right now. I have a wonderful girlfriend, my interest in kayaking, and other outdoors stuff that are taking my time an energy. And I need to be giving more to other important relationships in my life. But maybe some day I'll return to it. Or maybe not.
I guess I'm seeking discernment as to whether walking away from this would be letting go of something that isn't meant to be, or if it would be giving up on something that may be out of season right now but important in my life in the future.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
That is an interesting delimma... Matt recently went through a similar time. He had almost given up on the idea of being able to use the songs God had inspired him to write for anything, and he had really stopped pursuing music as anything other than a hobby (outside of leading worhsip once a month at church). Then, when we moved to Avon, our new HC has 2 musicians in it who are interested in collaborating on thier own songs and what Matt has written. He's dusted off his old recording equipment (which he used to LOVE to use, but which he had resigned would never be worthwhile), and now its all getting use again - this is after a 4 yr hiatus while we were adjusting to life as a family with kids. My input would be to wait, and pray, and if playing is still a desire of your heart, don't get rid of it. Trust the passion God has given you, and wait for when the time is right again!
Post a Comment