Why I believe in Jesus....

This is one of those stream of consciousness ramblings, you have been warned.....

So tonight I'm getting ready for leading discussion in house church tomorrow night. We are starting a study on "What does a healthy house church look like?" The first week is about how Christ is the foundation. It looks like a good study, but as I start into it I'm asking myself, why do I want Christ to be the foundation? Why I do I believe in Jesus and trust what He is telling me about what life is supposed to look like? So I guess this is just me looking back and taking some time to examine why I believe what I believe.

I guess the starting place is that I look around and see that this world is jacked up. Really jacked up. I read and hear stories every day about how a terrorist blew some innocent people up, children are dying in Africa because of lack of water, a guy watches his girlfriend get raped while he lies helpless to do anything, and criminals go free because they happen to have a lot of money. I find myself treated unfairly at work, every time I think I'm getting ahead something goes wrong, and people stab me in the back. Then I have to take a honest look at myself and admit that I'm a selfish person. I prefer to have a new toy rather than help someone in need. I don't want to have pointed out at work that I did something wrong, so I yell at my boss that he did something wrong that was the reason I did something wrong. I hurt people I care about because I can be a jerk sometimes. I get upset with people because they don't meet my expectations, but then I leave them hanging when I need some help. If I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that I'm just as much a problem in this world as anyone else. And I don't seem to be doing a very good job of fixing myself, let alone fixing anyone else. Finally, I know that none of us are getting out of this world alive. Some day the end is going to come, and I don't really know what happens after that.

So after that happy thought, what do I look to for hope? The government doesn't seem to be doing a very good job of fixing things, all they seem to do is make it worse. Sending people off to die in some foreign land, for what reason? All we seem to be doing is giving those people a really good reason to try to blow us up. I've been working on fixing myself, I'm not doing very well. I couldn't even get myself to go to the gym to work out tonight. None of the self help books seem to do much, otherwise they would stop writing new ones and everyone in this world would be fixed. And then there is organized religion, the worst one of all. How many horrible things in this world have happened because of religion. How many millions have died? How many people have been beat down and trampled on? How many people walk through every day of life hating themselves because of religion? I have a hatred for Christian TV, that's as fake as it gets. I can't stand Christian culture. I like a few Christian bands, but most of them feel so made up. I have this awesome quote from Bono about how God loves Truth, and because of that He would rather go to a Nine Inch Nails concert than a Christian concert, because at least they are being honest. Now I'm not saying that all people in Christian bands are bad people, but how many of them are being honest? I'm sure Chris Tomlin has to have a bad day sometimes and Matt Redmond has to have the days when he's not feeling so confident. If not, I want some of what they are smoking. I'm a firm believer of separation of Church and state. First of all, it's in the Bible. When the nation of Israel was set up, God made the tribe of Levi the priests and the tribe of Judah the rulers. He did it to protect the Church from power that corrupts, but we see how well that worked. I hear people make naive statements like "we need to return to the values of our forefathers who founded are nation." What, the values of genocide, slavery, and greed? We slaughtered the native Americans, stole their land, and used the slaves we stole from Africa to do all the hard work of making money. Don't get me wrong, I like living in America. But I think aiming for those kinds values is kinda aiming low for improving life. Plus I think if this country is a democracy, if the majority of the people don't want to live by the rules of the Moral Majority then they shouldn't have to. Religion is an ugly thing and in the history of the world every time a religion has been in power, it has done terrible things.

So if I'm not a fan of religion, why do I believe in Jesus? A few years ago I went through a real searching of what I believed. Beyond all the mess of the world, I saw that I was not a good person. I had done bad things to people, and I didn't want to. During that time I really searched to understand who God is. I had claimed I believed in God for many years, but I didn't really know Him. Reading through the Bible myself, I discovered the story of God, Jesus, and the world. The story of God is really very simple. God created a perfect world and put man in it to share it with Him. But God gave man freedom, because God wanted a friend instead of a slave or a robot. But man rebelled against God and broke that relationship. That's the first 3 chapters of the Bible. The rest of the Bible is about how God is trying to restore that relationship. For the first part (the Old Testament) God tried to reestablish that relationship by being the big, powerful God and made rules for us to try to follow to get along with Him. That didn't work, a few people got it but most people missed it. They tried to use religion for their own gain (that story again) or they just did things their own way. So God tried a new approach, He came to earth Himself. He did this so He would understand what it felt like to be human. He was hungry, He was thirsty, He was mistreated, He was hated, He suffered, He was murdered. He also showed us what He intended life to really be like. That we could love others and not live life angry and bitter. That we could help other people and remove suffering from the world. That we could enjoy God's goodness, that we could love Him instead of fearing Him. That we didn't have to buy the lies of life that we need more money, nicer clothes, fancier cars, and people to think we're great to have a good life. In fact, that those things tend to work against us rather than for us. Then Jesus died in our place, because all wrong doing deserves punishment. This world can't be just unless sin is punished. But all of us have sinned, I know I have. But Jesus took that punishment for me, so that I can be friends with God again and enjoy His goodness. Jesus also rose from the dead, to prove that He is bigger than death and that death is not the end. However, the tricky part is that Jesus offers forgiveness for sin as a gift, and not all accept the gift. I think CS Lewis hit on something profound in "The Great Divorce". In the end, God gives us what we want. If we want Him and His goodness, then we get Him. But if we don't want Him, and want something else, then we get that. But like that person who thought they were getting a great deal on a Rolex out of someone's trunk, they find out that they aren't getting what they hoped for. They thought they were getting happiness, but in truth God is the only one that can give happiness. They thought they were getting Disney World, they ended up with Uncle Louie's Catfish Farm.

OK, so all of that stuff comes out of the Bible, so why do I believe the Bible? Well here's the thing, I can't give you all the proof. There's lots of information out there that is supposed to prove the Bible, and I've read some of it. There's also lots of information out there that is supposed to prove the Bible isn't true, and I've read some of that too. We could get into the scientific side of creation vs evolution, or the philisophical debates. I'm told Stephen Hawking things that this world was started by aliens. I guess he is pretty smart, so maybe I should believe him. There's a really great quote I like from GK Chesterton "It is idle to talk always of the alternative of reason and faith. Reason is itself a matter of faith. It is an act of faith to assert that our thoughts have any relation to reality at all." Let's remember the advances of the last two centuries and how many "laws of science" have been broken and proved wrong. For a couple of hundred years Sir Isaac Newton had the "end all, be all" on gravity until that Einstein smarty pants came along. When it comes to the Bible, every year a new book comes out showing how it's true and another 5 books come out showing how it isn't true. And obviously none are the final words, otherwise they'd stop writing the books and we'd stop debating about it! What about other religions? If I'm shopping for a religion, then they all sound pretty nuts. All of them are out to get my money and ruin my fun. None of them can be proved. At least with Jesus, I get grace. When it is all said and done, I can't prove or disprove any religion, faith, or God. The world has debated about it from the beginning and it will until we manage to destroy ourselves. So why Jesus? Because I met Jesus and I know Jesus. It's not that I know about Him, subscribe to His newsletter, or have Him as a friend on MySpace. I actually know Him. He is inside of me. Sometimes I sense His presence, sometimes I don't. I talk to Him a lot, every once in a while He talks to me. Mostly He has shown me that the Bible is true, not because I've been able to prove it but because I see God's goodness in it. And when I start having doubts about whether I know Jesus or not, my faith is held together because I have other friends who know Jesus. They talk to Him and He talks to them. I have seen their lives changed by Him, as my life has been changed by Him. I can't fix myself, but I have seen God fix things in me. I have seen God fix things in other people too. People who were broken by drugs or depression or broken hearts or bad choices. Scientifically I have no proof of God, experientially I have tons of proof. It may not be proof for anyone else, but it is enough proof for me.

So how does it work that I don't like organized religion, but follows Jesus. Even that I help lead a house church? I make sure that I'm following Jesus and reading my Bible, not following any particular person. I have a lot of respect for my pastor and really like him, but I also know he's just as jacked up as I am. So I listen to what he says and take it in, but Jesus is the one that I follow. He is the only one I can fully trust.

So what about all the "do" and "don't do" of following Jesus? Jesus tells us that God is our father. I know a lot of people have jacked up fathers. My dad isn't perfect, but my dad is a pretty good guy. When he tells me to do something or not do something, it is usually for my benefit. He doesn't want me to do something to hurt myself or to hurt someone else. Or we get the picture of Jesus as a shepherd, the shepherd is there to care for and protect the sheep. God isn't the "eternal party pooper", He loves His friends and wants what is best for them, even if a lot of the time they don't want what is best for themselves.

So I guess that comes together as why I believe in Jesus. Then because I believe in Jesus, I can put Him as the foundation in my life.