So I've also spent February 14 as Singleness Awareness Day for many years. Some of those years I was really depressed and lonely, many I really enjoyed.
I'm really blessed to have a wonderful girlfriend and I feel like we have a very healthy and strong relationship. I have gotten far more than I could have dreamed of when I met Julie, and for some reason she likes me too.
I have also been sad to see some people I care a lot about having a lot of troubles in relationships lately too. Pain, heartache, tears, angry words, deep wounds. My heart aches for my friends and I pray for them.
In all of this I am reminded that we can't count on being in a relationship to make us happy. In many ways when we depend on a relationship to make us happy, we will be let down. Too many times people make poor decisions on who to be in a relationship with simply because they are lonely and want someone to make them happy. When that person fails is when all the pain and frustration comes along to attack their hearts. I am a big believer that any time we say "I'd be happy if....." then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and pain. We can't count on a change in our circumstances to make us happy. We have to make the decision to make the best of our circumstances, whatever they may be. Then if we are given the opportunity for a change, we can evaluate whether that change will really be good for us or not. We will have the strength to say "I won't date someone who mistreats me or doesn't respect me." We can say "I have a standard for who I'm willing to be in a relationship with and I won't settle for anything less." It also gives us the strength to say "this dating relationship is not healthy and I'm going to leave rather than cling to someone who isn't God's best for me." One of the best pieces of advice I have ever heart is "you are ready to date when you would rather be alone than be with the wrong person."
Here is my word of encouragement for everyone out there, in a relationship or not. One of the most wonderful things you can do for Valentine's Day is seek to make someone else happy. If you are counting on someone to make you happy, you'll probably be let down. But if you make it your goal to bless someone else, then you will brighten their day and you'll be blessed by it too. For many years I would plan a dinner on Valentine's Day for my friends (single and in relationships, sometimes we actually had married people join us and it was wonderful). I loved those dinners, they were always so much fun. I could see that others really enjoyed it and it blessed me too. Think about a friend that you could send a card or flowers, get your friends together for dinner, just call up someone to let them know you appreciate them. Go to a nursing home and visit some of the lonely people there. Be a blessing to someone, paybacks are Heaven :)
I also really want to encourage everyone to take time to understand what God's best for you is in relationships. Last weekend Julie and I attended the Song of Solomon conference (you know, that sexually explicit book of the Bible that you read as a teen when you were bored in church but still doesn't make any sense) and it was really great. The website for the ministry is http://www.songofsolomon.com/ and I highly encourage everyone to check it out. We were really blessed by it. We ordered the conference CD's so I'll have those to loan out also.
Finally a shout out to my girl. She is a beautiful woman and an incredible woman of character. I am so blessed. It took me 30.5 years to have my first girlfriend, but she has been more than worth the wait. I'm excited to see where God leads us, the first 6 months have been incredible.
I just have to say that this is still one of my favorite photos of Julie. It just shows some of the things that I love about her. Her adventurous spirit, her courage in a challenging situation, her trust in me (even when I'm not always worthy of it), and her being able to put up with a silly guy :)
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