July 4 - Dependance Day

God has been working on some things in me lately. I'm an independent person, I tend to do my own thing when I feel like doing it and I hate asking for help. Going to movies or a nice dinner are about the only things that I won't do by myself. Yet God is teaching me that always doing things on my own is not necessarily a good thing. While doing my own thing offers a lot of freedom, it puts me in a dangerous place and it robs me of the joy of sharing life with others. It also allows me to avoid being challenged and I'm not able to help others who need someone to help them through the tough stuff.

Here's my kayaking analogy (I may eventually put this in a book, I'm collecting thoughts). Going down river by myself means I don't have to worry about anyone else. I'm on my schedule and I can do exactly what I want to do. I don't have to care about anyone else, it's all about me. But if I end up in a dangerous situation, I'm on my own. There is no one there who can throw me a rope or bring my boat to shore. If I hit my head on a rock and get knocked out, I'm done. I've also found that the glory stories aren't quite as glorious if there's no one there to share it with. If I'm on my own, I could tell any story I wanted to and people may believe it, but have no reason to get excited about it. But if my buddies are there, we can celebrate that together for ages. When I rafted the Gauley, we had a swim at Sweet's Falls. Those of us who went through that still talk about it in excited tones, we shared the experience and shared something unique. People who weren't there don't understand. I have also found that when I'm on my own, I don't need to push myself. I can take the easy lines and avoid doing the stuff that I don't want to do. I need people by my side to push me to grow and make me better. I also need to come along side those who are also trying to learn. As a kayaker I don't always feel like I have much to offer. A lot of times I feel like I'm doing good to keep myself upright in the water. But I also have to remember that I can encourage other people who are new and I can make sure they aren't alone. I know that I appreciate the people who have taken the time to come along side me for encouragement and support, I need to return the favor.

I'm slowly learning that being independent may not be as great of a thing as I think it is. I need to learn how to share what is going on with me and allow people to help me. I need to swallow my pride and think of others. I need to realize that there are people who have a lot to offer me, and I have a lot to offer them. That we can share the joys of the journey together and that will be greater than what each of us seeks on our own.

Keeping your head

So I went up to the whitewater course yesterday and had a great day of kayaking. When I went a month ago I was pretty scared, this time I was pretty comfortable. I knew the course and knew that I could handle it. That doesn't mean it won't humble me from time to time, but that I'm able to competently run the course. I worked on some ferries, eddy turns, and s-turns at the bottom, where the Race runs into the St Joe. Before they opened the gates to the Race it was pretty tame. I wasn't totally hitting my eddy turns right, but I was doing pretty decent. But once they opened the gates it was a different story. A good analogy would be stepping onto a treadmill set for 8 minute miles, while wearing roller blades. It's doable, but you'd better do it right or you are going down. I think I got flipped 6 times. But here's the thing, I rolled back up every time.

It was just a matter of how important being mentally prepared and taking time to think through your situation before trying to react. A few months ago on the Flatrock I hit an eddy line wrong, it flipped me, and I swam. I knew how to roll my kayak, I can do it pretty well. But mentally I wasn't prepared. When it happened, I paniced and I forgot my training and what I knew to be true. But yesterday I was ready for it. I rolled 6 times in some challenging currents. It wasn't really because my roll was any better than it was a couple of months ago, it was because mentally I was ready for it. Instead of panicing I set up in the position, counted to 3 to calm myself, and then rolled. I came up fine without a problem (except the time I was still in the eddy line and it flipped me again, but I rolled up again).

The same thing applies to life. So often we have one little thing go wrong and we let it mess us up. Our car gets hit in traffic, someone has cancer, we get laid off our job, someone we love betrays us. These are all bad things and are going to impact us. The question is how we are going to deal with it. Is it going to take us out? Or are we going to take a moment to collect ourselves, remind ourselves of what we know to be true, and then respond with what we know to be true? Maybe the question we need to ask is do we have something solid to carry us through the hard times? Do we know how to respond that will allow us to continue on safely?

I'm training on a whitewater course, and it's a pretty safe place to learn. But even on the course one of the guys that is teaching me pointed out that we have to keep an eye on what is down stream of the next obstacle. The hole in front of us may be our next concern, but there may be a hole just past that we have to deal with also. We're going to get worked from time to time, but we need to react to that right or the next hole is going to work us too.

Return from hiking - Part 2

All my photos are posted. PLEASE leave comments and mark your favorites.

Garden of the Gods

Cataract Falls

I'll post some of my favorite photos later.

Return from hiking - Part 1

I went hiking this weekend. It was originally going to be a beginner's backpacking trip, but we ended up day hiking. The place we went to wasn't set up well for backpacking and it was hot, and it was hard to find info. The place we went to is called Garden of the Gods, it is a part of Shawnee National Forest in southern Illinois. On the way back we also stopped by Cataract Falls in western Indiana.

I went to Cataract Falls back in the beginning of January, when there was a huge amount of rain. So it was neat to compare the waterfalls to now (when it's so dry).

This is the upper Cataract Falls today:


This is the upper Cataract Falls back in January:


This is the lower Cataract Falls today:


This is the lower Cataract Falls back in January:


I'll be uploading my Garden of the Gods photos overnight and will post a couple in the morning.

Gazing - Adventure Slideshow

First run on the East Race

Video from my first time down the East Race. Sharon is in the lead, I'm behind her.

Visiting or dwelling?

Written while sitting on a rock next to a creek at my first campsite on the Fontana backpacking trip.

We have become a people of visitors instead of dwellers. We go to a place, see what there is to see, then move on to the next place. We treat our experiences in life like a TV show. We watch the church show, the friend show, the Bible show, the prayer show. When the half hour show or the hour and a half show is over, we move on. But something different happens when we dwell. We explore the finer details. we enjoy what is there. We listen, without an immediate expectation. We become a part of that place and allow it to become a part of us.